Until DEATH do us apart!!

This statement or a vow is exchanged between our body and our soul. I find this statement fully loaded and having a sense of certainty and knowing. The body knows about the law of impermanence, it is ready to offer itself to be the conduit and will step aside when the time arrives. Our soul and body both are at the highest level of detachment although they work together to help us with our experiences and learning on this planet. Each knows its role, there is no sadness when the soul leaves the body, it is our mind that is attached and struggles from letting go. Our body and soul are separable and yet together at the same time; they are not bound, they are free, they are united and still have enough room to be apart. This you may find similar to the kind of relationship we want to be in with our partner’s.


During our birth amongst everything else we forget this part of impermanency. From the moment of our birth we are on a roller coaster ride; when we are little we want to grow up there is a hurry to be like daddy or mommy. A child will give their exact age including months and if possible days, I am 4 years, 3 month and 2 days old (it’s very cute). There is an explorer within us that wants to see the whole world sitting in the front row. As we start growing up we are flooded with the pressure of performance and delivery and amongst other lower energies that we accumulate fear of death is on the top. This may get a little pronounced or could be otherwise for a child who has experienced death of a parent (I am sorry for your loss at that young age). Although there is a reason for the same but being a child it’s a huge abandonment or rejection that is set in the system.


Death is the only certain thing in our lives and instead of it being our focal point we place death in one not so very good corner of our lives and believe that if we don’t speak about it will not happen. Death is as natural as birthing (new beginning) but the reason we get uncomfortable with the mention of death (end, degeneration) is due to the attachment. There maybe other reasons perhaps but attachment would have a link to the other reasons. We have attachment right from people to and everything that is in between, we are attached to our cat/dog/work/friends/family/neighbor/relatives /everything that represent status symbol (including our children). We seem to form attachment to things faster than speed of light. I have had crazy attachment (on a decreasing scale though) for stationary I could not only buy in bulk but would hoard them too.


I am nowhere stating that we need to live a life of a poor or a life of a sage, what we need is to inculcate a sense of detachment with all that we have or intend to have. When I am in the state of awareness that I will sooner or later drop this gorgeous body of mine and transcend and return to nothingness only to come back again on doing something else; this state of being will help us look at our lives differently. When we detach that space give us spare time for our growth helps expansion of our higher self. I don’t find any reason that I must become 50 years to start the work on my path of Self or spirituality. I have observed that at that point people tend to become religious and the fear of death becomes even more grave as they either feel they haven’t achieved enough or why must they let go of all the riches, lover, family including grandchildren etc to this moment of death. Our cords of attachment over the years become thicker than the roots of the tree.


According to me death is a process of up-gradation – as we grow up academically or professionally we move from one class to the other; from a cubicle to our own cabin; from a small home to a bigger house; similarly our body is that class room, that cubicle, that home that needs an upgrade. So, what did we do to move upward in our material life, we worked and worked and worked even more in form of education to professional skill update. We worked very hard to keep the change and constant movement in our lives. We are here to experience and learn non -material based existence too such as love, hurt, happiness, inner peace, rejection (the whole nine yards of emotions and feelings). When we will be done with our set of experiences and lessons we will have to shed this body and take on a new one. Our soul is like a flowing river we stop at the banks only to move forward and ultimately merger into the ocean.


In our bucket list we keep adding things and responsibilities which we are at times unable to attend to. So many incomplete task or at times it’s the feeling of I have gained so much of material gain but had no time to enjoy the same. At this juncture to think or have a notion of death is too much to handle, here we don’t like the concept of life itself as we wonder if I had to lose or drop everything then why am I made to work so hard? Well, dear all along we are given the choice of doing everything in our numbered days on this planet.


Detachment is not something that you can say seven times, twice in a day and it will be achieved. It is an act it’s in the way we handle things. It’s when we are able to come closer to ourselves and have the knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ is where we understand and accept and understand the law of impermanence. This space will help us to build faith and trust, it takes away the stress and opens the doors and the windows where you are able to take risk and to say Yes and to jump. It is at this moment that you are no longer afraid, when fear, worry, apprehension etc are released. That’s when you know that the landing is going to be smooth. Few things that you may like to explore all of these are meant to make you feel lighter:


Acceptance – when we accept that we will one day cross over, then being alright with who we are i.e. the good, the bad, the ugly, the good enough, the not so good enough, becomes easier. The more we are in the allowance, the lighter we will feel and react to ourselves, to people and our surrounding.


Non-judgmental – this is like the step two as I accept that which is there within and outside there is little or no place for judgement. Even if there is a thought of the same with awareness makes it fainter. Practice will make you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.


Compassion and kindness –lesser the judgment more place for compassion to oneself and surrounding. The biggest compassion and kindness would be to our body as its scared it is the one that is enabling us on this plane to experience one the emotion of love in a physical form. When we treat our body with dis-respect we are only prolonging our journey and one of the reasons why we keep returning.


Live and staying alive – we can all live in any condition as our body can adjust and accommodate but staying alive is when you do not wait for the last day of your life to do things for yourself. However, the latter may be true for the most of us as we are so busy looking at the blurry picture. When we go through illness/dis-ease/loss is when we take a closer look at life and few do want to then stay alive. The wake-up call as it’s been said is when most start to live.


De-clutter (this one is my favourite) – this can begin with your closet to material gains and this de-cluttering helps in removing or easy to let go of relationships to things that are no longer serving us. The de-cluttering helps in easing mind of over dose of thoughts too. Just before the New moon is a good time to start the process of letting go of things and relationship. I have noticed that when the drawers are getting lighter there are thoughts that surface that needs attention and if you have an awesome friend who can patiently listen and guide or a good counselor this process is worth spending time on. YES to more cleaning and clearing.


Gratitude – I seem to mention this act in most of my article and true so it does help a very important part in our lives. When I say thank you the universe showers me with abundance. When we are in gratitude life and death don’t seem to matter as we are content we are happy. When there is contentment and happiness we can only expand and experience more.


In my phase of learning I am not saying that I have completely accepted death; but, “I know death exist in each breathe. It is as alive as I am, it is the truth, it is my shadow and it is my grace. I am grateful for its existence, as all my actions will decide my readiness for my highest growth. I do get bogged down but that’s the beauty, I rise faster than before and I am shown that the universe is supporting me in everything that I do. That knowing makes living easy and I am certain so will be my passing over.” – Zeenat Lakdawalla


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