In continuation to my previous article Love and Relationship, I thought it would be nice to share here the different types of relationships that we experience over many lifetimes. There could be single or multiple relations and each one transforms us, preparing us in our path.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― C.G. Jung
My knowledge so far about the subject revolves around karmic, twin flame and soulmate relationships. The content for the first two here are experiential. There are articles on the web on these topics and I would encourage you to read them too. Due to the vastness of this topic I am releasing this article in two parts.
Karmic Relationship – As the name suggest this is settling of our good and bad karmas. This one is for resolving deeds, for clearing of the past in the current lifetime and to move on in one’s spiritual journey. It has a streak of the soul mate and twin flame relationship (discussed in Part2). From the start of the relationship this person is familiar to us and the acceleration of this relationship is at a lightning speed. There are no frills attached and you begin the settlement of the unresolved business for the day zero itself. Being a combination of twin flame and soulmate relationship, it picks up the drama from the former and the calmness, comfort and protection from the latter. This relationship can last or disappear, in both scenarios it is for us to decide.
The confusion, pain, happiness, worry, excitement of one’s partner speak through their eyes. It is rightly said that the eyes are the windows of one’s soul and in this case the soul is the reflection of you. Such a partner keeps us grounded when we are floating off on over self-adoration and holding on to our created misconceptions. They drop us with ease and tell us how incorrect our ideas are and where we are stuck. They are ready to share the sunrises and sunsets of our world, they double up to be our strength when we face a roadblock or two.
They bring a lot of patience and giving as a compensation for any wrong done to us in the past life. It comes very organically to them to do things for us as they know our emotions, weaknesses, habits, trials and turbulence’s and these may have not even been seen by anybody. We in turn become so pampered that we may be taking them for granted (it may not be intentional) and as a result may be mistreating them. If not corrected, this may become an abusive relationship.
In their role in this lifetime with us they are all along teaching us to learn our lessons too. They change our perspective of things, people, environment without pushing us. With their care, hope, love and warmth they are making us see what is amiss in our lives. They guide us to become considerate, caring, open to receiving and giving etc. Our disposition also enables them to reflect on their own work. The relationship is wholesome with a mutual admiration for each other. At times, before thoughts and feelings have surfaced it has already reached our partner.
Sometimes they can push our button but they also help us to appreciate ourselves. They make us visible in the crowd and explain that it’s safe to express and to be admired. They form an important part of our learning curve too and just by saying we are ‘awesome’ does the trick for us.
There is a deeper connection, comfort, a bond that defies cognitive thinking. If our choice is to be alone their presence may seem to be threatening. If we do not value and care for ourselves being with them is very difficult. We are challenged when it comes to expressing. We are caught up in our constant inner battle which gets supported by external circumstances and that’s frightening and we decide to give up as it’s too much in too little time. This causes relationship erosion.
Similar, to twin flame there may be a constant on and off period as individually or both due to confusion such as to be or not to be, how did I get so lucky, I am not participating enough, I am not giving/receiving enough etc. We respect our partners decision even if the relationship is meant to be a lasting one and has a divine plan we pause as one of us has exercised the free will (and I for one most times do not like this tool – ‘FREE WILL’, from the universe). Even though apart we will experience each other’s emotions if one is hurting please be assured the other is in equal pain. This relationship is for keep if only both can work on themselves for their higher good and the richness that each brings for the other.
In conclusion to part 1, I would like to mention here that relationships on our earth plane are to guide us not to peel us off our individuality. It’s our responsibility all the along on how we view ourselves and therefore our relationships.
One of my all-time favorite book or rather guide being ‘The Prophet’ by Khalil Gibran, I quote his point of view on committed relationship
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
The philosopher and writer has so beautifully explained the nature of a healthy relationship. From this prose poetry, I have taken the essence, that no matter the type of relationship we are in or aspire to be in, it’s important to not lose ourselves. There is a learning that to be in a committed relationship doesn’t mean that we kill our inner being. We do not have to become a parasite or create a co-dependent relationship wherein either partner loses its identity.
There has to be a balance in the relationship. So, how does one strike a balance? Does it arises from maturity or self love? If maturity, then is it based on age/gender/status? And if it is self-love then is it awareness and the state of allowance that will bloom and nurture a healthy relationship. Will this bring both self and partner closeness and distance. To achieve the latter, requires is lot of self work. May we all be able to receive this kind of self love in this lifetime. So be it!!
Hope you delve on this and I look forward to releasing part 2 of this article early next week.